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About Deviant Raven StromdansMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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Pinched something in my back today. Life is officially pain.
~thoughtful~ One of these days, I'll have to learn to stymie my penchant for overshare. 

Today was not that day.
Gods above and below, 2016...will you take a break!? 

Hail the Traveler...Glenn Fry of the Eagles. May his journey Home be peaceful, his arrival joyous.
Deeply saddened by the unexpected loss of David Bowie. Hail the Traveler!

May his journey Home be peaceful, his arrival joyous.
As a single spark on the drought dried forest
the first flames grow bright, burning so hot
as to turn everything they touch to rubble.
Only the greatest of maneuvering  conserves
for the future any fuel for the fire that would
otherwise quickly consume itself into exhaustion.

From blue to white, vermilion to gold,
though on the surface the pyre grows cold,
after the smoke fades and the light dies away
beneath this ash, there may still be coals.

When the flame burns low, a manageable heat
replaces the blistering fires, a gentle glow
replaces the blinding light,
warm, comfortable, comforting.
The gentle, crackling illumination of the fireplace in winter,
the only source of light, the only source of heat
in the midst of a winter storm.

From blue to white, vermilion to gold,
though on the surface the pyre grows cold,
after the smoke fades and the light dies away
beneath this ash, there may still be coals.

Like the twilight flung by a low campfire
or the tentative caress of moonlight,
the cool clarity of the banked flame.
The heat has ebbed, the light is only a hint,
a bare shadow, a suggestion of what was.
The flames are only a memory now.

From blue to white, vermilion to gold,
though on the surface the pyre grows cold,
after the smoke fades and the light dies away
beneath this ash, I will still have these coals.

deviantID

ravenstromdans
Raven Stromdans
United States
Current Residence: Frederick, MD, USA
Favourite genre of music: Acoustic folk/rock
Favourite style of art: traditional fantasy
Operating System: Windows 7
Wallpaper of choice: Anything Norse or forest related
Skin of choice: Wolf, maybe raven...preferably a combination of both
Favourite cartoon character: Thundarr The Barbarian
Personal Quote: "May the Wages of the Sword be Kind; may my next step never be my last."
Interests
Was reading over one of those kinds of "maturity" checklists, the kind that are ostensibly written for one gender, but actually address the other and I started thinking:

It's been a long time since I thought I was somehow perfect. Even when my opinion of myself was at it's highest, I doubt I projected much in the way of positive self image. I suspect that image has been steadily tarnishing since the implosion of my first relationship; 20 years is a long time to rehash a single failure, especially when it's the first one. Pretty much everyone is given to the mistakes the first time they do anything. Sometimes you learn on the fly and sometimes you find you just have to start over.

Anyway, the list I was reading reminded me that I'm still something of a split decision when it comes to relationship material. I have a steady, well paying job, but I'm overwhelmingly lazy in other parts of my life. I have a lot of interests, but none that I'm particularly passionate about or pursue with any amount of dedication. I value intelligence, compassion and creativity, but I'm also grotesquely shallow. There's a number of different things I'd like to do with what's left of my life, but I've got no real ambition, no impetus to even get started, much less realize those goals.

Given the state of my life, I often find myself wondering if it's worth the effort to start over. I suspect I'm already more than half done with my life and I've settled into a pretty deep rut of complacency over the years. I find I have less and less energy to push my boundaries, to generate the energy to try to overcome my own weaknesses and basically to heave myself out of this cyclic trench I've dug for myself.

There's plenty of things I'd like to do that might help press me out of my routine: I'd like to stop working my day job (using the term loosely) and write full time for a while, just to see if I could do it; I'd like to travel a bit, see how the experience hits me after being stationary for so long; I'd like to indulge my other creative urges a bit more, go back to the piano again, maybe try sketching again like I did in high school; I'd actually like to change my day job to something that maybe doesn't have the same amount of presumed stability, but provides a greater sense of accomplishment.

The problem is most of those endeavors require money I don't have to spare or energy I don't have at all. As it stands right now, after I get off of work I barely have the energy to make it upstairs to bed; sometimes I just sack out right on my couch. I'm exhausted...by a life that barely has anything in it.

How am I expected to rise to the challenge of the more active life I desire?

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:iconfelishamarie:
felishamarie Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New Deviant Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for watching me!
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:iconravenstromdans:
ravenstromdans Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Happy to oblige. Thank you for watching me in turn!
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:iconfelishamarie:
felishamarie Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New Deviant Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Not a problem! :D 
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:iconcybermdee:
cybermdee Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for Fave Emotes by Ravenswd  
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:iconkirjavaa:
Kirjavaa Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2015  Student Photographer
Thanks for the watch!! :D
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:iconravenstromdans:
ravenstromdans Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2015
Happy to do it. :)
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:iconjadetsukijx:
JadeTsukiJX Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2015
Thanks for the Fave! =)
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:iconravenstromdans:
ravenstromdans Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2015
My pleasure. 
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:iconbriannabater:
Briannabater Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015  Professional Photographer
Thank you.  *Hug*
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:iconravenstromdans:
ravenstromdans Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015
I am of the Knighthood. I could do no less.


...but you are welcome, in any case.
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