Firstly, the irony of listening to "I would do anything for love" by Meatloaf as I began writing this is not lost on me.
On the subject of attraction, since the subject as brought up briefly by John Drury has been on my mind, I thought I'd add my two silver doubloons. (because the information is less precious than gold, but larger in mass than a penny).
For years I made the mistake of trying to establish guidelines for what I found attractive in a woman;  it took me those years to establish that such a thing was virtually impossible to accurately quantify. Physically, it was fairly easy to establish what would turn my head: long hair, the use of glasses, understated beauty, a figure that suggests health without giving in to either heftiness or anorexia. (Yes, structurally my ideal woman has changed very little over the years) As I suspect most men do, however, I've found myself often making concessions emotionally and cerebrally for women I found physically attractive, never really establishing what beyond the esthetic value of crude flesh appealed to me. As a result my heart, such as it is, tends to bend whichever way the sun shines the brightest, so to speak; those women who I already find attractive who treat me with the courtesy, respect or even pity-filled kindness are often those I find myself most easily drawn to. A blindingly attractive woman who ignores me may turn my head, but moments later is likely forgotten. A reasonably attractive woman who gives me the time of day or, Heron forbid, actually indulges in pleasant conversation with I will likely obsess over for months.
That's really how little encouragement my flawed affections need to find a direction to flow.
I suppose it's actually fortunate that opportunities for even that level of interaction to find its way into my life; I've no way of knowing whether I would have eventually grown desensitized enough to basic courtesy and kindness that I no longer single-minded focused on those women who offered it to me or whether I'd have been pulled in twenty different directions by every woman who was nice to me.
There is one key exception to this rule, something I've mostly managed to quantify only by associating it with spirituality and personal delusion. For those reading this whose feet are firmly entrenched in reality, this may come as rather difficult to swallow.
First, a little backstory: I didn't read Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn until just a couple of years ago, but the animated adaptation of the tale was one of the movies of my formative years. I remember, after the first time I watched the movie, spent no small amount of time weeping over the knowledge that, given that there are supposedly no more unicorns in the world, King Haggard must have actually succeeded, leaving the earth bereft. As time went on, I came to the conclusion that if King Haggard had actually succeeded, then Lady Amalthia must have ended up marrying Prince Lir, which meant (to my mind, fed on fantasy, science fiction and horror from an early age) that the magic bloodline of unicorns was now loose in the human gene pool and must manifest in some way. As Lady Amalthea's eyes refused to reflect like human eyes, I assumed the only visible sign of carrying the blood of the unicorn was in the eyes. This was the inception of my search for a woman with the Eyes of the Last Unicorn.
Over the years, my conception of how this magical legacy manifested has evolved somewhat, mostly as a result of the two women who I believe do actually carry some of that gift in their veins. Indeed, it is certainly there in their eyes, rather a sensation that one can either not meet her gaze or can't stop looking into them, but more there is a vast sensation of creative and compassionate power in their person; why I associate this with the legacy of a magical beast better known for its aloofness excepting in the presence of virginal woman I don't really know, but it seemed natural to me.  More telling is the need these women generate in others to be in their presence. This, it seems to me, is the natural evolution of the fact that the Last Unicorn seemed desired by everyone that crossed her path, from Mommy Fortuna to Molly Gru to King Haggard himself.
As one might guess, this sets the already high bar of expectations I maintain for a long-term mate way up into the stratosphere. As I've already mentioned, in the twenty odd years I've been on this romantic quest of sorts, I've met all of two women who met the criteria I set forward and neither of which were available to me. One had yet to find herself and did so after she left my sight, the other is happily married and I think no one would be fool enough to doubt the wisdom of her choice.
So, I am left to continue my search for the light bright enough to cast me in shadow in our painfully mundane world. Realism be damned and cast aside compromise; I have my hopes, my dreams, my convictions, my delusions and beside them, whether partnered or alone…
I will stand.


Well…that meandered a bit. I hope I didn't bore anyone or lose any friends along the way. I guess this had all been just weighing on me a bit lately. Felt the need to get a little unburdened.