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About Deviant Member Raven StromdansMale/United States Recent Activity
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ravenstromdans
Raven Stromdans
United States
Current Residence: Frederick, MD, USA
Favourite genre of music: Rock/Acoustic
Favourite style of art: Fantasy
Operating System: WinXP
Wallpaper of choice: Commissioned Comic Monthly Wallpaper
Skin of choice: Wolf, maybe raven...preferably a combination of both
Favourite cartoon character: Thundar The Barbarian
Personal Quote: "May the Wages of the Sword be Kind; may my next step never be my last."
Interests

There was a time when I was a stalker. This was well before the time the term ‘stalker’ really developed the meaning it has today; indeed, this was even at an age when my sort of single-minded attachment to women with no interest in me was just considered the norm, particularly for socially inept fellows like myself. This was also a time long before you could do web searches to find out where people lived, discover their phone number, rack up dozens of pictures of them off of social media sites, all that jazz that’s so in vogue with stalking these days.

I will now say, in my own defense, that I was not a good stalker. I genuinely *sucked* at even the few stalking tactics that were available to a pining pissant at the time. I was (and frankly still am) so afraid of actually getting the attention of the females I desired that I was never willing to take the kinds of risks that would have been required to be a truly gifted stalker. I did my best to establish where the objects of my interests lived and made attempts at being where they might be to spend time in their presence…but frankly, I was just too timid to make it work.

I realize in retrospect that this was a good thing for my future; if I’d been more aggressive or daring, there could have been consequences far reaching into my life. As time goes on, though, I realize that while I never harmed anyone with my ‘stalking-lite’ technique, I never really learned anything from it either, never matured or evolved past the mindset from which my stalker-ish tendencies sprang. I still don’t know how to get the attention of a woman I find attractive; I still don’t know how to talk to a woman I find attractive if she happens to show me some unsolicited attention; and I still follow many of the same habits I had when I was younger. Although I don’t ride by houses on a tenspeed anymore or try to get assigned projects and/or classes with the women I’m infatuated with, I still find myself habitually going to places where I know women I’m attracted to happen to work. I don’t know if it’s prudence or laziness that constricts my activities…and I don’t much care.

I don’t know where I was going with this, to be honest. Just sort of thinking in print, trying to unravel an idea that’s been curling around my brain since this morning. I was making an effort to write while at Starbucks; both of the women I like most there were working and I thought about my motivations for going there on a regular basis. While it’s true I like Starbucks chai and that pretty much all of the staff there know and talk to me in a friendly manner, I also recall that the reason I first started going there regularly was because of Devin behind the counter. I thought of her as “The Goddess with the Golden Eyes”, because for some reason when I first saw her, I remembered her as having, well, golden yellow eyes (which turned out to be not true; still unsure of where that impression came from).  When Amanda, a previous crush from the defunct Borders, also started working there…well, I was locked in.  It was local, had two pretty young women behind the counter and it had good chai. There was no other place for me.

The pathetic part about this is both of them have long-standing relationships that seem entirely contented and both are at least 10 years younger than me. For some people, neither of these facts would matter, but both matter to me, in varying degrees. I’ll admite the latter doesn’t matter all that much to me…but the former is very important. I intentionally ruined one relationship in my lifetime and that fact disgusts me. There’s plenty of reasons that I’m disgusted with myself as a person, but this is one of the few that directly impacted other people. Although that story seemed to have a happy ending of sorts at the other end of the line, I’ve never quite managed to reconcile how the whole thing came to pass. The very idea of being the catalyst for the dissolution of another relationship nauseates me with horror.

Anyway, my point is that I’m still stalking, in perhaps the laziest fashion possible. The real reason I keep going to Starbucks is to spend time in the presence of two attractive young women who I know will never look at me as more than a regular and slightly overly-friendly customer.

At nearly forty years of age, it’s kind of sad to recognize that socially you never became more than the fourteen year old boy who spent his time watching the pretty girls from the shadows.

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:icontheghostsiren:
TheGhostSiren Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for favoring my work Black Rose
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:iconaimeelaurent:
AimeeLaurent Mar 31, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favourite.

I really appreciate it! (:
Reply
:iconravenstromdans:
I feel a little guilty that the only thing in your gallery I've faved is an self-portrait, since you do your own art and fawning of your picture just proves how pathetic an old man I am; people usually like to be lauded for what they've created, rather than just their appearance, especially here on DevArt, but I could't help myself. It's genuinely a beautiful shot of a beautiful young woman and I have a weakness for both.

I will endeavor to investigate your work more fully so as not to appear like an old lecher...well, I suppose I AM an old lecher, but I don't want to appear as JUST an old lecher.  
Reply
:iconaimeelaurent:
AimeeLaurent Mar 31, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
It's fine, really it is. I just hope you find some of my other stuff interesting as well (:
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:icontheghostsiren:
TheGhostSiren Oct 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for watching me :blackrose:
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:iconemmzles:
Emmzles Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks so much for the fave!
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:iconlynuth:
LyNuth Jul 6, 2013  Student General Artist
Heyya :D It's been a while! how are you? C:

Thanks for keep supporting me~ Nice to see you around in my feedback ♥
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:iconravenstromdans:
I'm alive and enjoying your foray into the steampunk realm.
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:iconlynuth:
LyNuth Jul 15, 2013  Student General Artist
Yaaay that's awesome C: thanks <3
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:iconstephaniethy:
stephaniethy Sep 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you so much for the :+fav: on Morning Sun!
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